CatheB's World

The Four Degrees Of Friendship

2009-10-27T13:08:00.000-05:00

While in one of many deep conversations with an "intimate" friend of mine the subject of friends came up and she took me on a journey I'd never considered when it comes to "friends".

Frist let us consider that "friends" can be divided into four categories.
(1) Acquaintances: people you know but your
conversations are limited to the weather.
Nothing personal, only generalities. These
"friends" can be anybody.
(2) Associates: People you may spend some
time with but you don't make it a habit
of being together too often. Conversa-
tions are limited but they donot go past
weather conditions, not much personal
information only what is generally
known. Warning these are friends that
you want to be careful with because
they don't always have your best in-
terest at heart. These can be coworkers,
relatives but not just anybody.

(3) Close Friends: People who know you
on a personal level. They know your
family, they know you. You can count
on these friends through thick and
thin. You share just about anything
with them. They know your shortcomings and
love you anyway. Most spouses are close
friends.Close friends are personal.You
have alot in common ...you enjoy each
other's company; you can laugh and cry
together and have. This can be a tricky
friendship due to the fact that close friends
often feel they have the right to
judge you or even make decisions for you
without your consent. Usually we call these
best friends.

(4) Intimate friends: These are people who know
you even more than close friends. These
friends are connnected to you in a special
way. First let's get a clear understanding
of intimate. You are associated in close
personal relations mentally but
not physically...there's nothing
phyical about the relationship
other than it is unconditional.
Intimate friends understand you on a level
that not any of your other friends can
understand. You are so closely connected
that one feels what the other feels,
you see the world with the same vison.
They know you TRULY...there are no
limits with these friends. These are
friends who at no cost will ever di-
vulge any of your personal information,
they will and can tell you about your
shortcomings and never be judgemental.
They only and always have your best interest
at heart.This friendship is priceless. There aren't
many on this list. Actually this list is very short.
* Just because this is an intimate relation-
ship it does not automatically place your
spouse in this category.*

Finally, now that we have some insight on friendships we can reevaluate the "friends" in our lives. Some may have moved to a more trusted degree
of a friend, some to a lesser degree or not even considered at all. Therefore we should always be mindful when using the words "my friend". Of course there is One other friendship not mentioned above and that's because this relationship cannot fit on this list ....it is in a category all it's own. A relationship with Jesus Christ.

To Whom Much Is Given...

2009-04-27T17:52:00.000-05:00

To Whom Much Is Given

Luke 12:48

But the servant who did things that deserved a beating without knowing it will receive a light beating. Much will be required from everyone to whom much has been given. But even more will be demanded from the one to whom much has been entrusted."(ISV)

but the one who did not know it, and committed deeds worthy of a flogging, will receive but few.From everyone who has been given much, much will be required; and to whom they entrusted much, of him they will ask all the more.(NASB)

But he that knew not, and did commit things worthy of stripes, shall be beaten with few stripes. For unto whomsoever much is given, of him shall be much required: and to whom men have committed much, of him they will ask the more.(KJV)

We are so familiar with this passage of scripture at least a portion of it anyway. The first part of it simply says if we do something(unworthy,not right) and don't know it's not the right thing to do we will get off lightly. Now, here's the biggie...the more we are entrusted with the more will be required of us....But more will be demanded from the one to whom much has been entrusted...I meditated on this for awhile and I started thinking (yeah I am at that thinking thing again)...anyway I got this revelation...When we are given much (and I am not necessarily talking money) but talent, fame ,fortune education...whatever.... but when we realize we have much we should also take into account what comes along with having much...the requirement...what's demaned of us...not asked of but demanded of....how do we give if much has been given to us...first I guess we must take into account what the much is...or does it matter...Famous people are always giving (not sure if the giving is always because they have been given much or if the giving is to get more i.e publicity) The oddest thing gave me revelation on this scripture (death of a dear friend) but it made me realize what's meant by to whom much have been given..It doesn't say anything about if you are a superstar and have lots of money it says to whom...meaning anybody...but if you've got a demanded call on you ...you are given a lot because that is the prerequiste to what will be demanded and the kicker is you don't have a say so in how you meet the demand...once the requirement (you've been given much) is meet the demand follows...I almost want to say once you have fufilled your purpose(much have been given to you) the only thing left in your life is what's demanded (more is being asked of you) and I believe now that that more is a unique special gift that only you can give...I don't believe it has anything to do with the material but the demand is intangible...Start paying more attention to your life and evaluate if you have been one of the fortunate to whom much has been and entrusted and remember even more will be demanded...2 fingers peace out

April Is Autism Awareness Month

2009-04-06T20:34:00.006-05:00

My name is Alexis....April is Autism Awareness Month...Me and my mommy will be participating in the annual autism walk, Saturday April 25th...We would greatly appreciate your support.....Thanks in advance...

Saying Something...or Saying Nothing

2009-04-06T20:22:00.000-05:00

"Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something." Plato

I am the the person in the crowd who likes to stand back and listen to who is saying what...When you listen to what a person is saying and keeps taking the conversation back to the same topic that's what dominates their life....A person who wants to impress is usually talking about where they've been, who they know and what some one elese doesn't know..Which brings us to today's quote...A wise person speaks not to impress but to enlighten, a fool speaks to embellish himself or herself...don't quote me I know there are exceptions to every rule....Try standing back at the next gathering and see who is saying what...Embellishment and enlightment can easily be determined...The person who says I, I, I, me, me, me put a pin in it...If you want to learn something about a person shhhh and listen to what they are saying.....That's why I keep my mouth shut...I say what I need to say and let it go....Ask me a question I'll answer...But I don't usually talk unless I am being talked to or if I am nervous....So to all of my sisters here's one for you (unless it is a private setting with just you and your girls) at the next party don't keep talking about designer bags, expensive cars and things like that because guys will call us gold diggers...Guys you do it too I don't care how many cars you drive and you only wear designer shirts and you own how many pairs of Jordans?... Guard your thoughts and tame your tongue...The things we say can make or break us...I know you've heard that a million times....But it's true, words can come back to bite you or brighten you...For a person who doesn't talk alot I sure have said a lot.....OK until next time....

OMG...Now I See

2009-02-12T15:59:00.018-06:00

I haven't blogged for awhile now...after sitting down and carefully reading my very own words I thought how much of me showed in what I wrote. I've always been a very guarded person when it comes to my feelings or my thoughts...no one can say I wear my heart on my shoulder for sure...but then I thought how freeing it is to write and read your own words... I experienced an epiphany...I have tried for years to keep a journal but I couldn't or wouldn't keep it at least for a long period of time anyway... I suddenly realized why ...because I was afraid of sharing my feelings (even on paper) or facing those feelings...Now the question is what was I afraid of or why was I afraid?...Maybe of being judged or maybe by sharing what I thought or feel in some way it meant an invasion of my "personal space"...what's in the head is in the heart....That means if some one reads what I write they know who I really am and after much consideration and trepidation I concluded that is not such a bad thing...(it takes me back to "Say what you mean, mean what you say."...."Those who mind, dont' matter. Those who matter, don't mind"...I love that quote I believe it was Walt Disney who said that....You know I'm real and I don't say (write) something just for the sake of doing so but it is to make a difference in some one's day day, lift your spirit, make you smile even laugh, give you hope let you know that you are not alone....So now that I've faced that I can move on with this journey that I've started...By the way I am keeping a journal, again...this time I plan to keep it up...At the end of the day or evening it is a good way to unwind and relax....Jan, I'm back at it....(smile)

New Year, New Start, New You

2009-01-07T23:47:00.004-06:00

It's a new year and I have decided to use the new year for a new start in some areas of my life and refreshen others.... I have decided that the only way to be the best me is to first allow time for me...Me time is a priority on my list....I have recommited myself to my meditation time...During this time it's just me and the Lord, I talk, I listen and I just let stillness and quietness consume my mind and body...This gives me strength for the day....I recommend early morning for those of us who have busy lives.....It sets the tone for the day...I'm sure you're thinking this is selfish....self first...We can only perform at our highest level for those we serve or care for or work for only if the mind is well...."And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God." Romans 12:2
When we renew the mind we can hear the directions and instructions of God....we open ourselves "up" so He can pour into us. I hope you understand why I call it me time now...you see I am nothing without Him and the only way to be in His presence is to make time to be with Him when not distracted with the concerns of the day.....So I start my dy with Him so whatever I am faced with during the day He is right there to "order my steps".... Gift yourself a new you with a new start by renewing the mind.

PURGING FOR PEACE

2008-12-10T19:22:00.003-06:00

"If you want things to be different, perhaps the answer is to become different yourself." Norman Vincent Peale

Slowly the year 2008 is creeping to an end.... do something for yourself. ...Now is a good time to take inventory of your life, yourself..... Look around and inside yourself and see what is of no use to you, what is it that's in your way (old clothes, shoes, pictures, people)...I did some house cleaning this year(maybe a little longer than a year) but anyway I am finally rid of somethings (a lot of it was purely insecurity).... I had held on to stuff for so long until I felt that if I tossed it out I would toss out a piece of myself...It was just the opposite...By letting go of the old I discovered the new...Simple things that bring me joy....I am doing things that are purely for my enjoyment...It's okay to put self first (sometimes)....We can not enjoy life if we are not living life....This kind of goes back to an earlier entry where I talked about just being...Not being a mother, a sister or whatever but just being...I discovered by just being it helped me to get to know me...Don't be fooled I love being a mom or whatever but knowing what's on the inside of me has made a world of difference...It has opened new doors.....It's made me a better me ...a happier me... Time is winding down there are only a few days left in '08 and now is as good a time as any to discover a new more exciting, happier you that is if you are feeling as if the world is passing you by....My final inventory tally was peace, joy and happiness...Be blessed and be a blessing to someone.

DECISIONS

2008-12-03T18:29:00.002-06:00

Recently some one asked me the question "Are all decisions the right decisions?" I sensed the urgency of my answer and the value the person had in my opinion....So with no hesitation I said: Some decisions we make we know it's the right decision when we make it and others we may never know if it was the right decison ...Then I realized this person was looking for comfort some kind of asssurance....Some decisions are just easy the hard ones are the ones that make us question who we are.....Those are the ones that haunt us ....but too these are the ones that make us stronger....Like mistakes we learn from our decisions.....Decisions can bring comfort....Decisions can bring doubt.....Decisions can bring pain....A decision brings a conclusion.....So I don't know if it's so much the decision itself....It's the end result of the decision that causes us to question.....Knowing the end result would surely change a lot of decisions but then where does that leave character...honesty.....When faced with another decision...not what dress or shoes or tie but a life changing decision....think about this....Jesus knew the end result....He knew the pain He would endure....He knew the suffering.....Yet He decided to hang on an old rugged cross and die for us.....So we too have to bear the burdens of our decisions......and yes they are not always easy, pretty decisions....but it will mean a conclusion.

STICK with What You Know

2008-10-28T10:05:00.002-05:00

I have not posted anything new because my laptop( with all of my information) went blank. I could have moved on to another computer the working PC but I wanted to use "my" laptop....After several days of contemplating it came to me go with what's dependable....We often rely on the temporary (jobs, money, friends) until they run out then we look for something or someone who is reliable, dependable, stable, unchanging (this list could get pretty long)....In this day and time taking a chance on a "quick fix" is so very dangerous....Nothing is "etched in stone" these days....Therefore we need to stay with what we know is dependable, reliable and unchanging....I have found one true dependable thing to stay with , hold on to, sick with... even when I don't see the big picture....I know that if I tust in God no matter how bleak the situation, how dark the night He will see me through....I know His Word is bond....My proposition...Put Jesus in control of your life let Him handle those situations that are totally out of your league...."I have never seen the righteous forsaken or His seed begging for bread."(Psalm 37:25b)....So if you need something that will not change on you....I recommend JESUS.

CHOICES

2008-10-10T11:20:00.001-05:00

I know it's been awhile and you've been asking what's really going on? I've had so much stuff going on I literally had to cool down before posting somthing new. When we allow personal feelings to dictate over things that's out of our control we need alone time. We let things and stuff upset us and it has nothing to do with us or should I say it's not about us. I am a firm believer that if God allows a door to close in your life He has something much bigger and better than the mind can fathom. It amazes me how we can't let go (sometimes). The only way I could calm down and let go was first to acknowledge it was not about me and the second thing " you reap what you sow."
What's the saying....change the things you can, accept the things you can't and Lord give me the strength to deal with the rest (just a little paraphrasing).
We must always keep in mind that the Lord gives us choices and it's up to us to make the right or best choice. Holding a grudge is not a good choice....not speaking to a neighbor or co-worker out of spite is not a good choice. The next time you are placed in a situation just remember you are a representative of a true, living , LOVING GOD so make the right choice.

IT'S A HARD KNOCK LIFE

2008-09-13T09:46:00.007-05:00

Life lessons are hard knocks...I have had a few.(I have a permanent mark up side my head.) The one that taught me more than anything else was to learn how to smile when your world seems to be crumbling. I felt out of place in my everyday surroundings. I stuck to the old saying "never let them see you sweat"; on the inside I was blank but on the outside I wore a smile. I didn't see it then but later I realized how this one situation made me. It made me totally depend on God, it taught me how to smile in the midst of the storm and it taught me how to love my so called enemies.
I was much stronger than I thought I was. I know I was never alone. This was part of my journey. I don't believe it could have happened any other way. What appeared to be a mountain was only a pebble. I looked at my life much differently from that point on. I accepted that I was not in control of my life and if I wanted to survive I had to get rid of somethings and people that were toxic.
When we let go of the right things, no matter how dependent we are on it/them, we can then celebrate everyday living with a smile. So, don't let stumbling blocks hold you down. Don't let grudges steal your joy. Don't let heartache make you hate. The harder it is to let go the better the celebration. I charge you to take inventory of your life and get rid of anything that is causing you pain, mentally, physically or spiritually.

Ooops...Did I Say That ?

2008-09-12T21:47:00.006-05:00

I've been working on how I respond to people. I have been called cold, cruel and a couple of other things that I care not to mention. People who I am cool with and a few I regard as friends have told me I need to watch "how" I respond to people. Pardon me, I just keep it real. Ask me a question and I'm going to answer. Ask me what I think and I'm going to tell you. "Say what you mean, mean what you say." I don't know who said that but that's the bottom line. I'd rather not have someone translate what I say because their interpertation may not be what I mean. The facial expressions and the body language that's another story. So, if you are comfortable with speaking your peace and it's not malicious and/or intented to cause harm say it and eliminate the possibility of someone saying what you didn't say.

WHAT'S MY PURPOSE

2008-09-09T10:59:00.006-05:00

Everytime I hear someone say I know what my purpose in life is I cringe. Honestly ,I am searching everyday to find my purpose. Is purpose and passion the same? I know what my passion is but is it my purpose. If I never find my true purpose does it mean I failed or neglected something in my life. I wonder if many of us who are seeking our purpose in life have found it and use it everyday and just don't know it because it has become part of our everyday life. Sometimes we look so hard for something until we overlook it. How many times have you searched for your keys and they are right there in your face? Maybe I am overlooking my purpose. If I have helped someone along the way, if I have made someone smile, if I have done anything to make someone feel better or be a better person than maybe, just maybe I have fulfilled my purpose in life. So, if you are searching for your purpose in life stop looking for something huge and overwhelming and start looking at the little things. Your purpose might be staring you in the face.

SAY IT ANYWAY

2008-08-31T18:57:00.006-05:00

Have you ever been in a situation where doing the right thing could cause you to lose someone you love? At least the perception is, by doing the right thing that person will fault you. Often when having to make a decision of this magnitude it is not really about the other person but about you. Suddenly we realize we are not sure if we want "the monkey on my back". If telling the truth will cause a few moments of heartaches and tears isn't it better than a life of misery? Sometimes being the bad guy is a good thing. I mean I'd rather be disliked for a moment than to watch a love one suffer for a long period of time. The truth hurts (sometimes). The truth is freedom. The truth is relief. We should never be afraid to "tell" a love one the truth about something we know may cause heartache or harm. It is then in their hands to make the right choice. Their choice may not be what we want. "When it is in your power, don't withhold good from the one to whom it is due." (Proverbs 3:27) We can only do the right thing if it is from the heart and not the head. If by poking your nose in somebody business is out of spite and it'll give you a good laugh or " I told you so", that is not a reason. Let us not forget "Do unto others as ye would have them do unto you." We can only be true to ourselves when we are true to the ones we love and care about.

NOT ABOUT ME

2008-08-29T09:29:00.005-05:00

One of the most defining moments in my life was when my daughter,Alexis was diagnosed Autistic. I was totally lost, functional but lost. I could not understand, did not understand. WHY me why now? Suddenly I realized it was not about me. This was much bigger, bigger than the eyes could see or the ears could hear. Out of this I found peace, joy and happiness. Wait a minute, did I miss something you ask?
No, absolutely not. When I took me out of the equation and let a higher power (My GOD)control the situation then and only then could I see. He guided me to places and people I needed to work through this journey. It made me realize that when I am not focused on Him everything is out of control. He gave me the strength to be her strength. Through all of the bad days, the sleepless nights, the bouncing off the walls if you will, I wouldn't trade nothing for my journey. I guess what I'm really trying to say is don't sweat the small stuff even if the small stuff is a mountain. Now I understand: "Trials come to make you stronger." Don't let the situation control you, control the situation and God will handle the "small stuff."
Alexis is doing extremely well. She has come a long way and is making progress everyday.

OK, I SAID IT

2008-08-28T19:40:00.011-05:00

I'm going to put myself out there...yes I'm single. The one thing I get tired of hearing is "WHY you don't have a man?" 'Cause I'm not looking for one.(Did you detect head moving and eyes rolling?) BREAKING NEWS: EVERY SINGLE PERSON IS NOT LOOKING. Have you ever thought that maybe we like being single. Or better yet we refuse to SETTLE . You know what they say I can do bad by myself.I DON'T need a man to complete me. I've already been made whole by the only ONE I need validation from. What I need, when I'm ready to allow a man in life, in my space, is a man who don't mind being my friend. I'm not hatin' because some of my best friends are married or in long term relationships. They are happy and I'm happy for them. The point I'm trying to make here is: it's okay to be single until you chose not to be. Oh yeah, one more thing because I don't have a man I'm not lonely or sad; I'm just waiting until I'M READY.

Who Are You?

2008-08-27T21:51:00.005-05:00

Who are you ? A mother, a sister, a friend, a lover, a father, a son, a teacher, a teller, a barber, a banker of course the list could go on....but does it truly answer the question: Who are you? Of course these titles are a part of us but do they best describe who we are as a person? If so what does it say about us if we are not THE best friend , THE best father or THE best what ever. How can we define who we are by not being something to someone else.... There are times when WHAT I am is not WHO I want be....Is it safe to say that at times we are not sure who we are...As I write this I am searching for a way to best describe myself by not being anything to anybody because sometimes I want to just BE....STILL....JUST BE.....I guess I can say I am LIFE, I am LOVE the product of UNCONDITIONAL LOVE.